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| Article Archive |
"What in the World Do I
Call Them?"
The Correct Way to
Address GLBTI
Couples After They
Have Been Married
(8/20/2004)
Call Them?"
The Correct Way to
Address GLBTI
Couples After They
Have Been Married
(8/20/2004)
Considerations for
Wedding Ceremonies
and Special Events
Provisions for
Disabled/Physically
Challenged Persons
Wedding Ceremonies
and Special Events
Provisions for
Disabled/Physically
Challenged Persons
Similarities Between
GLBTI and Traditional
Ceremonies
GLBTI and Traditional
Ceremonies
Upcoming
Features
The Plight of the Day
Tripper:
For Visitors to Key West:
An Issue No More
By David Siegel
Guest Writer
Features
The Plight of the Day
Tripper:
For Visitors to Key West:
An Issue No More
By David Siegel
Guest Writer
How To Apply For A
Loan With Your
Same-Sex Partner
Courtesy of eHow.com
Loan With Your
Same-Sex Partner
Courtesy of eHow.com
And so on. Now as the same-sex marriage issue becomes more recognized and legal in the
country, someone, somewhere will establish the correct global protocol. However, it appears that
being aware of one standard is enough for now...until some greater authority sets the NEW
standard.
In the cases of the transgendered individual, the same rules would apply. The case for a male to
female or female to male transgendered person: He, now SHE or She, now HE would be addressed
by his or her name. In the case where she marries a male, it would be Mr. & Mrs. Jack & Connie
Stein or Mr. Jack Stein and Ms. Connie Phelps or Mr. and Mrs. Jack and Connie Stein-Phelps. In the
case wherein he marries a female, make changes as are fitting.
In the case of an intersexed or gender-blended individual, they should be addressed by the
name/gender identity they choose. Once this has been ascertained, select from the appropriate
example above.
Does anybody need a cocktail and a break at this point? It isn't really that daunting. I think that
I have expressed things in a manner that should be as painless as possible. The MOST important
issue is that you take the time and care to ask the person(s) in question how they wish to be
addressed. One example of a way of inquiry, that I and the staff use, is the innocuous
"Congratulations! So what is your new name going to be?" OR "Did you take your spouse's name?"
OR "So--- are ya' hyphenated now? (if you are good friends/very comfortable with each other). At
savvyplanners.com, since we know about the ceremony in advance, we often ask: "How should
we address future correspondence to you both?".
In most every instance, the person is happy to clear the record. By asking in this manner, you show
that you recognize that a change COULD have occurred, that you respect that fact, want to
greet or introduce them properly and acknowledge that you respect THEIR right to be called
what they WANT to be called rather than presuming.
Perhaps you will see the genteel and respectful approach that I recommend as a painless way to
get the information you need. I have always been a bit of a stickler for etiquette and protocol.
Not to be snobbish, but to be socially thoughtful and apropos. Even in the twenty-first century,
no, particularly in the twenty-first century, it is even MORE important to treat people with respect,
kindness, dignity and social grace.
With Love and Respect,
MW Savant
Nota Bene: The names used here are not affiliated with any known persons. They are merely for illustration.
country, someone, somewhere will establish the correct global protocol. However, it appears that
being aware of one standard is enough for now...until some greater authority sets the NEW
standard.
In the cases of the transgendered individual, the same rules would apply. The case for a male to
female or female to male transgendered person: He, now SHE or She, now HE would be addressed
by his or her name. In the case where she marries a male, it would be Mr. & Mrs. Jack & Connie
Stein or Mr. Jack Stein and Ms. Connie Phelps or Mr. and Mrs. Jack and Connie Stein-Phelps. In the
case wherein he marries a female, make changes as are fitting.
In the case of an intersexed or gender-blended individual, they should be addressed by the
name/gender identity they choose. Once this has been ascertained, select from the appropriate
example above.
Does anybody need a cocktail and a break at this point? It isn't really that daunting. I think that
I have expressed things in a manner that should be as painless as possible. The MOST important
issue is that you take the time and care to ask the person(s) in question how they wish to be
addressed. One example of a way of inquiry, that I and the staff use, is the innocuous
"Congratulations! So what is your new name going to be?" OR "Did you take your spouse's name?"
OR "So--- are ya' hyphenated now? (if you are good friends/very comfortable with each other). At
savvyplanners.com, since we know about the ceremony in advance, we often ask: "How should
we address future correspondence to you both?".
In most every instance, the person is happy to clear the record. By asking in this manner, you show
that you recognize that a change COULD have occurred, that you respect that fact, want to
greet or introduce them properly and acknowledge that you respect THEIR right to be called
what they WANT to be called rather than presuming.
Perhaps you will see the genteel and respectful approach that I recommend as a painless way to
get the information you need. I have always been a bit of a stickler for etiquette and protocol.
Not to be snobbish, but to be socially thoughtful and apropos. Even in the twenty-first century,
no, particularly in the twenty-first century, it is even MORE important to treat people with respect,
kindness, dignity and social grace.
With Love and Respect,
MW Savant
Nota Bene: The names used here are not affiliated with any known persons. They are merely for illustration.
| © 2004-2008 savvyplanners.com, Alle Rechten Vorbehalten, All Rights Reserved. Contact our webmaster |
"What in the World Do I Call Them?"
The Correct Way to Address GLBTI Couples After They Have Been Married
By Marc Savant, CEO
"How do I address a GLBTI couple after they have been married?" There is no correct manner,
yet, in the English language, since the issue is so new. However there are some languages
(French & German for example) which have pluralisations of titles. Thank heavens! In english
there is no real plural for mister or Mr.. It would be rather strange to address an envelope to
"Misterses" or "Mr.'es" or some other nonsense.
It is my opinion that the most apropos format would be the use of the French plurals i.e.:
Messieurs [mess-yoohr] (Messrs.) or Mesdames [may-damm] (Mmes.) So and So (as opposed to
the German "Herren" for men or "Frauen" for women). The moniker dates back to 1512 (Middle
French--- according to Merriam -Webster's dictionary). It is infinitely more polite in this manner
and really only applies to those persons that have chosen to share a name. In the case of a
couple that maintains their own names, then, it is correct to address them as Mr. X and Mr. W
or Ms. D and Ms. E.
It would be wholly appropriate to address a letter to a couple in these formats. Below are
some examples for correct formatting of envelopes sent to GLBTI married couples:
The Correct Way to Address GLBTI Couples After They Have Been Married
By Marc Savant, CEO
"How do I address a GLBTI couple after they have been married?" There is no correct manner,
yet, in the English language, since the issue is so new. However there are some languages
(French & German for example) which have pluralisations of titles. Thank heavens! In english
there is no real plural for mister or Mr.. It would be rather strange to address an envelope to
"Misterses" or "Mr.'es" or some other nonsense.
It is my opinion that the most apropos format would be the use of the French plurals i.e.:
Messieurs [mess-yoohr] (Messrs.) or Mesdames [may-damm] (Mmes.) So and So (as opposed to
the German "Herren" for men or "Frauen" for women). The moniker dates back to 1512 (Middle
French--- according to Merriam -Webster's dictionary). It is infinitely more polite in this manner
and really only applies to those persons that have chosen to share a name. In the case of a
couple that maintains their own names, then, it is correct to address them as Mr. X and Mr. W
or Ms. D and Ms. E.
It would be wholly appropriate to address a letter to a couple in these formats. Below are
some examples for correct formatting of envelopes sent to GLBTI married couples:
| savvyplanners.com Key West, Florida 33040 Messrs. Frank and Ignacio Mitchell-Sandoval 123 Main Street Gaytown, USA 12345 |
| For Men who elect to hyphenate names or share one name eg: Messrs. Frank and Ignacio Sandoval |
| savvyplanners.com Key West, Florida 33040 Mr. Frank Mitchell and Mr. Ignacio Sandoval 123 Main Street Gaytown, USA 12345 |
| For Men who elect to maintain their own names |
| savvyplanners.com Key West, Florida 33040 Mmes. Julie and Sandy Piper-Rhodes 123 Main Street Girltown, USA 12345 |
| For Women who elect to hyphenate names or share one name eg: Mmes. Julie and Sandi Piper |
| savvyplanners.com Key West, Florida 33040 Ms. Julie Piper and Ms. Sandy Rhodes 123 Main Street Girltown, USA 12345 |
| For Women who elect to maintain their own names |